THE MOST PAINFUL THINGS A MAN CAN SAY TO A WOMAN(www.meetinterracialwomen.com)

We can let most of the little passive aggressive comments or teasing roll off our backs. But, there are some things that, when a guy says them, send us into panic mode and ignites way more insecurity than men realize.

You’re being dramatic

In so many places—TV shows, movies, men’s magazines—women are stereotyped as being overly sensitive. And—guess what? After ALL of those decades of being given that reputation, it did affect us. What. A. Surprise. Subconsciously, we’re aware of that stereotype every time we make the decision to bring up a problem and begin an argument. So, if you pull out the “you’re being dramatic” card, we arefuming inside. You’ve shoved us into the category we work so hard to stay out of.

That doesn’t feel very good

There are two ways to direct someone during sex. “Hey, can you do a little more of this? A little more to the right. A little faster.” And then there is “That doesn’t feel very good.” If a man puts it like that, it sounds like what is really going through his head is “what is she thinking? Has she ever had sex before?” They are just very cruel words, and we probably aren’t going to perform very well after we hear them.

You’ve gotten a little bit bigger

In very rare circumstances—and very rare couples—can a man tell a woman this and it not come with major consequences. You might be right. We may have put on a few pounds. But it’s one thing when a friend says this (to help us out) and a boyfriend says this. Listen—we know if we’ve put on weight. We’re already on the task of losing it. If you tell us it, then we don’t enjoy meals in front of you. We’re not going to walk around naked in front of you as much. We’re probably not going to have sex with you as much…

Why can’t we just be more like (insert other couple here)

If you want us to be more adventurous, more affectionate, more romantic—terrific. Let us know. But don’t phrase it as “we should be more like (insert name of couple you’re friends with).” Then we will just become subconsciously bitter toward the female in that couple. Really, comparing us to another couple makes it feel more like something is wrong with our relationship, rather than there is just room for improvement. But, if you have a couple that you want to be like, then we feel like you have been analyzing a lot more about our relationship than you’ve been letting on. You may say you just admire that couple because they’re more romantic, but we’re going to analyze the rest of them.

I need more “me” time

If a guy says this (and, granted, he is allowed to say it) all we can think about is when to give him that time. Relationships are supposed to be about being comfortable—about not being afraid to give of yourself and make yourself vulnerable. If a guy says “I need more me time” we feel like we are in the beginning phases of dating again, is it okay to text now? Should I stop by or will that annoy him? Should I make him that surprise dinner or does he want “me” time tonight? It’s something we need to learn to live with, because it’s something a man is allowed to ask for. But, let’s be real: it hurts.

You’ve got issues

I’ve got issues?! OKAY….? If a guy says in the middle of us ranting about something or arguing “You’ve got issues” we suddenly feel like he sees us as a broken person. He is making the problem at hand larger. There we were thinking we were arguing about what time to have dinner and suddenly, apparently, we have all other sorts of issues that are totally “apparent” to him. What are they? Daddy issues? Napoleon complex? And of course, a man will never elaborate when we ask “what do you mean by ‘issues’?!” He is just saying it to make you insecure and doubt what you are upset about.