True Stories About Interracial Hook-Ups, Dating, And Relationships

 ——“Oh, I have a huge thing for Jewish guys.”

Across the table from me was a South Korean guy who had watched videos of me eating KFC during his time serving for his home country’s national military. He had told me that watching my videos made him happy and miss America. Now we were on a first date because I am a crazy narcissist.

I asked him careful questions about his years in the service and his home country. He gave me polite answers and told me, a white boy from New York, that I should really make it over to Asia at some point.

“Do you speak Hebrew?” he asked.

I laughed at his question because I hadn’t even said that I was Jewish yet, and I definitely didn’t speak Hebrew. I’m one of those young chosen people who qualify as “Jew-ish” at best.

“Oh, I have a huge thing for Jewish guys. One time I memorized a whole Hebrew pop song just to impress this Israeli guy,” he said to me with eyes the size of my grandma’s matzoh balls. He started singing and I envisioned my Hebrew school teacher Mr. Shapiro correcting him sternly.

I asked him what he likes about Jewish guys and the answer, of course, didn’t surprise me: “Oh, it’s their beards for sure. Love their noses too.” I quickly chugged the rest of my beer so the date could be over.